I had the majority of another post written but after this morning I am bumping it for this one instead. It was one of those mornings where my heart was so full of pride, some may have escaped from my eyes!
It was Lucia’s last ballet class before Christmas and they had all been practising their moves over the last few weeks to show the mummys and daddys, brothers and sisters, grandparents and anyone else who wanted to come along. And I don’t think I was quite prepared for what we were going to see.
Our pre-ballet routine is the same every Saturday – Lucia gets her toe caps put onto her right foot as soon as she gets up along with her converse to try and reduce the swelling in her little foot to make her ballet shoe more comfortable and a better fit. After breakfast she also has some elevation before we get her compression on under her ballet gear. Then off we go!
When we arrived today, Lucia, along with the other girls in her class, disappeared into a little room off the hall where they practice and got their nails painted, a little bit of sparkle on their cheeks and a dash of red on their lips.
Then out they came with Lucia leading her little group, skipping around the hall with high knees and pointed toes looking like the most beautiful little swan I had ever seen in a beautiful white leotard and tutu covered in sequins. Before she even came out I could feel the tears pricking the backs of my eyes but when I saw her I had to really focus on holding myself together.
Watching her plie, pointing her toes, jumping and skipping – all while she beamed with happiness and confidence – just took my breath away. She loves to dance, simply adores it whether in class or at home, it is just part of her. And when I think back to when she was a little baby and everything felt so uncertain – whether she would be able to walk never mind dance – I feel like I have to pinch myself on days like today.
I watch her with complete awe. I watch her with the biggest smile on my face. I watch her and embrace the joy and confidence that she has and often feel completely overwhelmed by her. By my girl. My girl who we tell everyday that she can do anything she wants to do. That she can be anyone she wants to be. And then we watch her as she goes and just does it. And honestly, I can barely describe how that makes me feel as her mummy.
I say it a lot but it is like my heart could explode. That lump in my throat, the tears in my eyes, finding it hard even to breathe because my girl is out there doing what she loves most in the world. Being a five year old who loves to dance.
And as her wonderful big brother Max said afterwards – ‘Lucia was the most beautiful girl and the best’ – I’d have to agree.